Episode 11 – Law of Attraction Basics

Episode Summary

In this episode, we talked about the basics of the law of attraction and how it works to help you manifest what you want in your life.

Show Transcript

All right. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Emotional Embuffination podcast. I am your host, David Enevoldsen. And here on Emotional Embuffination, we are training to become emotionally buff enough to overcome any conflict in life. And just as importantly, we're working on discovering new levels of success and happiness. This podcast is just one of many resources I have available. If you want to learn more. Check out the Emotional Embuffination website, which is embuffination.com. All right. On today's show, we are going to be talking about Law of Attraction basics. Now, I have grown to accept the law of attraction as not only something that I buy into believe in, but also have embraced it as part of the model that the Emotional Embuffination framework is wrapped around. And that's for a number of reasons. But before I get into that, I want to kind of talk about my journey with the Law of Attraction and kind of where that started from. And frankly, anything metaphysical sort of this all came from the same place. This all began when I was little and when I was small I was brought up in an extremely Christian household. So, my both my parents were Christian. My dad was a pastor, my mom's dad was a pastor. My parents met each other in Bible college. So needless to say, there was a lot of Christianity and it just I assumed it was truth. There was when I was little, there was no questioning it. It was just that's how it is.

You know, the Christian truth is is truth. And I just accepted that for a long time. And somewhere around high school there were things that just weren't quite clicking for me. The things about the model that I would start to question a lot. And so when I was in the church, I would question everybody about everything. And there's strangely, when I was outside of the church, I would defend Christianity like crazy. But inside the church I would ask questions constantly. And in fact, one of the events that I remember I described this in the Emotional Embuffination book is I was in Sunday school and I started asking about the way a phrase was interpreted and the teacher started screaming at me at one point that we're not all as analytical as you. And she got very mad and just didn't want me to question anything. But doubts kept popping up. And so, I was asking people, I was asking pastors. I remember asking my dad, I asked like all these different people, I was talking to my friends about it. I was reading philosophy. I was just trying to throw myself into anything that would make this make sense. And the basic answer that I kept coming back to that everyone was essentially throwing at me was you just have faith or that we just sort of assume that this is just how it is. And if you don't see it, you're an idiot.

And that didn't quite work because I felt like I was just sitting there saying, okay, I'm just going to believe just because. And I needed something more than that. So, when I was 21 this kind of all culminated for me and I decided I was going to just run this logical proof where I was going to work myself from nothingness to proving that God existed to proving that Christianity was the correct interpretation of what God is. So, I started writing this paper and I was typing it up on on my computer. And I got to I remember it was 21 pages of single spaced, 12 point font, eight and a half by 11 pages of stuff. And I went back and I read what I had written down and it was sort of this hodgepodge of different philosophical concepts that sort of resonated with me. And I got to the end of this, what I'd written thus far, which wasn't complete, but I'd written 21 pages of it and I read it and I got to the end and I went, "What a bunch of crap." I completely failed to persuade myself. And I remember thinking that it was just not persuasive and it was obvious I was trying to force a conclusion, and I just really wanted that conclusion to be true. So that night I was very frustrated and I remember physically sitting down on my knees in front of my bed and I prayed and I remember saying, "God, I really want to believe in you. I really want to believe that this is all true. But this doesn't make sense to me. The things people are telling me when I go to the church, the things that I'm reading about, like there's just so many weird holes that don't make this make sense. Like, I need help. And so, you've got to give me something like I need something. And I'm kind of I can't wait anymore. I need to continue hunting if I don't get something. So, give me something by 5 p.m. tomorrow or I'm going to assume that this is not the right approach and I need to look elsewhere."

Then I went to bed. The next day I got up, went through my day. I don't remember anything happening. 5 p.m. rolled around. Nothing like there was nothing that I noticed as any sort of obvious sign. And I remember thinking, "Well, okay, that's it, I've got to look elsewhere. This is not the answer." And that for me was the first real moment where I had a major rift, like a real major cognitive rift with this idea of just having faith. In something metaphysical and something that I couldn't see, touch, taste, smell. It started to push me into this belief that things had to be logical and rational and I had to be able to touch it or test it or be able to verify on some level that this stuff was out there.

And if it wasn't, it couldn't be real. And that was sort of the beginning of that line of thought for me. So as time went on, I kept studying just all sorts of things, philosophical things. I started to reject everything that was metaphysical. I remember a friend of mine invited me to the store one time that was very new age oriented and had a lot of different things like Reiki and tarot cards and all sorts of stuff of that nature. And I went in and my friend was very excited about showing me all the different things there. And I kind of bit my tongue because I was very much looking down on it. I remember watching some people doing Reiki and thinking almost nothing of it. Worse than nothing. I thought it was ridiculous what I was seeing. And for all you Reiki people out there, I'm not attacking this right now. Feel free to continue doing Reiki. But at the time what I was seeing looked absolutely absurd to me. And I watched two people, one was laying on a table and the other one was just sort of waving hands over the first one and then the person waving hand said, "Tell me what you feel." And the other person said, "I feel purple." And I almost bust out laughing because it just seemed so ridiculous to me. So, when we left that store, my friend asked me what I thought and I just unloaded and I was like, This is ridiculous. It doesn't make sense. You can't prove it. And I remember she got very mad. She was upset with me and started telling me that I needed to have faith in things. And I was too scientific and too logical and that I was going to be miserable for it. Blah, blah, blah. But as one of the things that I talk about in the Emotional Embuffination book is the idea of arguing with facts. And I didn't know this at that time, but when you argue with someone who's already convinced of a position and you're just sitting there arguing surface facts about the things that you believe in and this other person is convinced about the opposite of you do nothing positive for your cause. You just push them further into believing that they are right. And that's exactly what happened to me. Like I was already thinking this metaphysical stuff, anything that requires faith is nonsense. And it pushed me even further into that belief. So, I slowly, strangely, almost had faith in this idea that reason, hard work logic, those are all the answers. That's the only way you're going to move forward is just hard work, sacrifice, delayed gratification, logic, reason, the tangible, the physical, any of this faith stuff, anything metaphysical was just craziness. And so, I carried that belief and I kept going on. And man, as I've said in so many other of my materials, podcasts and whatnot, I was miserable, I was super unhappy.

But I kept telling myself, I've just got to delay a little longer. If I just work harder, these things are going to pay off. And so, I kept trying and trying and things were not going well at all. And at one point I ended up getting a couple of rental properties. This was kind of leading up to the 2008 collapse, the real estate market collapse there, and I got a couple of rental properties right before that. I had to really stretch to get there. I kind of was running negative on one and I was breaking even on the other one in terms of cashflow. And it was a stretch. I was working constantly on them. I remember I was out pulling weeds in front of these places. I was constantly going out and trying to repair things. It was just a perpetual source of stress and I was losing money on them. But I kept thinking, you know, I just sacrifice a little bit, you know, in ten years, this is going to be making so much of a difference. I'm going to be able to raise the rents and I'll have equity in these houses and all this stuff. And well, 2008 happened. That didn't go at all how I wanted it to. I ended up losing everything there and it was much worse than losing everything. I ended up with kind of a catastrophic situation with my finances.

So not only did I not move forward financially, but I moved backward. And so, all my hard work and diligence and trying to kill myself and sacrifice just hurt me.

In 2007, I got a CD audiobook. It was The Secret, and I'm sure many of you have heard of it. And it's kind of one of the things that made the Law of Attraction famous. And The Secret is just all about the law of attraction, and it kind of tells it and what I perceive as sort of a superficial framework. But it was good insofar as it it spread the message to the world about the idea of the law of attraction. So I listen to this thing while I was driving and I wanted to believe it. It was weird because this was the first time in quite some time that I sort of embraced the idea that there could be faith in something metaphysical. I could have faith in this stuff out there that didn't really have tangible proof to it. And I thought, Well, I'm going to test it out. And so I kind of tried it a little bit without really telling anybody. And it just wasn't working like nothing was coming into existence. I wasn't manifesting any of the stuff that I wanted to. And just as a superficial level, in case you're not familiar with this, the Law of Attraction, the concept behind the Law of Attraction is essentially that your thoughts manifest in reality.

So if I think about things, they start to show up in my physical world and the the thought ramifications that you have ripple into your life and sort of alter the trajectory of where you're going or what's happening. So I was trying that and it just wasn't working. Nothing was getting better. I was still depressed. I was still working my butt off and nothing good was coming. And then I tripled down. I was even more convinced now that the Law of Attraction was nonsense. Any of this metaphysical stuff was nonsense. New Age, Christianity didn't matter. If it wasn't something in front of me tangible, I was not going to believe it. And I knew logic, reason, self-sacrifice, delayed gratification, these were the answers. I scrimped every penny. And as I said, I lost my rental properties. I lost everything there. I ended up later going to law school. I thought, well, this is the answer, now. I'm going to go become a millionaire by being an attorney and I'm just going to become so rich. So I went to law school and oh my gosh, I worked myself into the ground. I was exhausted. I remember initially I was trying to work full time and go to school my first semester. I have a memory of going into one of my bosses at that time, and he at one point he was like, "What's wrong with you?" And I just burst into tears and I was like, "I can't handle this. It's too much."

I was overloaded and it seemed to get worse every year of law school. I really, really burned myself out and in theory, it paid off in terms of my class rank and my grades. And I had really good grades. I was, I finished second in my class when I graduated. I was doing well on paper, but man, I was stressed. Man, I was miserable. I finally got out of law school and I thought, "Okay, this is it." I eventually got barred, which was sort of a a painful process for various reasons that'll spare you. And I couldn't get a job. It was sort of a mess. I'd killed myself to have a great resume and I had all the stuff you want on your resume when you're walking out of law school. I had a law review. I had moot court. I had paralegal experience. I had worked as a legal document preparer. I had good grades. I had everything you could think of that you would want on your law school resume. And I couldn't get a job. And so I ended up hanging my shingle. I didn't know what I was doing. I was working myself into the ground even more. I was even more stressed than I was in law school. And that led into the time that I've talked about in some of my other materials where I just got, I hit my low point and I got flat suicidal.

In the past, I had had suicidal ideations. I'd been thinking about suicide off and on pretty much my entire adult life. But when I got to this point, it was just almost all I could think about. I was super stressed. I was way worse off than I'd ever been before. I was saddled with all the student loan debt. I was miserable. I, I couldn't handle it. I was making less money than I had been before I went to law school. With the debt that comes along with all those student loans, I hit my low point. I remember hearing the phrase, "The harder I work, the luckier I get." And that was the most upsetting thing I could hear. It was so infuriating to hear people say that because I worked myself to death and nothing good was coming out of it. Well, I hit my low point, as I've said in other things, I ended up calling the National Suicide Hotline. I talked to this lady who sort of talked me off the ledge, so to speak. Ended up seeing all sorts of different mental health professionals. Things started to turn around a little bit. And during that period where everything was turning around. I got another CD audio book, and it was by Mike Dooley. And it was it was on the topic of the Law of Attraction, although he didn't call it the Law of Attraction in that material, but it was basically about the law of attraction.

And for some reason, this thing resonated with me in a way that The Secret didn't. It felt more comprehensive. It felt like there was just something different that was clicking. And once again, I kind of had a little bit of faith in the unseen and unprovable, and I thought, "Well, maybe this is true." And so I started journaling. A little bit. I started writing prompts for myself that were things that were sort of law of attraction-oriented, amongst other things. And so, for example, I would write stuff like I would give myself a prompt that would be telling me to write something that I wanted, but in the past tense as though I'd already acquired it. Or I would tell myself to write things that I wanted to accomplish. But again, in the past tense, as though I'd already accomplished it. So there were exercises like this that were all sort of law of attraction-oriented. And initially they were very small things, and I started getting them. It was weird. It was like all of a sudden this law of attraction thing had turned into reality. And one of the moments that I remember really, really made me go, "Holy crap, there might be something to this," I was sitting in my office and I had at that point, a part time paralegal working with me. And she was great. She was helping me out.

She would listen to me, rant about whatever I needed to or vent. And there was one day I was running my bills and she was sitting in the office and I looked at the budget and I was looking at what was in my account. And I went, "Oh, I am $300 short." Like I needed 300 more dollars to pay the bills off for the month. And I didn't have it. And I went, Oh, I was like, Really? I was getting stressed out. I was getting agitated at the shortfall of $300. And I remember I stopped myself because I've been thinking about all the stuff that Mike Dooley had been talking about. And I went, "You know what? I don't know how, but this is going to work out. I'm going to find a way to make that money somehow, and it's going to be fine." And I believed it. Like, I remember feeling like, I don't know how, but this is going to work out. And about an hour later after, I just kind of released the idea that this was a problem and then that somehow it was going to work out. About an hour later, a friend of mine came into the office, just walked in and showed up unannounced. And this is a friend that I had done some legal work for recently before this. And, I had, basically because he was a really good friend, I said, Well, I'm just going to do this for free.

I prepared this document for him. And he came in, he said, "Hey, this is really bothering me that you did this for me for free. Like I know we're friends and all, but I need to pay you something. So, I needed to give you a little bit of money." And he showed up with $300 and handed me $300 in cash. The exact amount that I was short for the bills. And I went, "Whoa, this this is like, this could be a thing." And so I kept paying attention to this and I kept journaling about things. The journal later became a commercial document that I sell. If you want to take a look at that, it's called My Reality Generator now. I took all the prompts that I had in these journals, in this journal, and I turned them into something that other people can take a look at. So, if you want to learn more about that, I go to myrealitygenerator.com or you can find it on the Embuffination site. It's all it is on the Embuffination site, but kind of a shortcu there is My Reality Generator. At any rate, I was going through these things and all this stuff started coming and it was like things kept getting slowly bigger and bigger. The more that I was writing about them and the more that I was dwelling on them and the more that I was refining my Law of Attraction technique, so to speak, or my skill at applying it, I should say.

And things just kept getting better and better and better. Now, this application of the Law of Attraction was one of the things and I say all the time, there was a number of different things that contributed to this sort of turning around of my life. But this was definitely one of them. The Law of Attraction, or my understanding of the Law of Attraction and my application of the Law of Attraction in my own life really started to turn things around. And there was a moment where I remember there was that transition. I think it was somewhere around that time that I had that $300 just show up at my doorstep when I needed that $300. There was a moment where I remember releasing this need to prove everything. This need to be able to touch it, taste, smell it, test it, or it wasn't real. And I had to have a little bit of faith in that this was out there. And I brought up all the other stuff, the Christianity and the new agey stuff and all these other things, just because I feel like that faith mechanism is very similar. I can't prove to you today, like unequivocally in any sort of empirical or testable way that the law of attraction truly is. I don't know how you could ever do that. I don't know how you could conclusively prove it.

But one of the things that I have noticed and this reminds me a lot of what C.S. Lewis wrote in his book Surprised by Joy, which is a fascinating book, if you're interested in kind of how C.S. Lewis, the guy who created the Narnia books, converted into Christianity, my experience felt very similar to what he described there in that it felt like I was doing all the right things on paper. I was working hard. I was doing what people were saying you should be doing. I was studying and I was studying how to do real estate and investment, all this stuff. And I was losing consistently. And I felt miserable. And the second that I kind of reversed the mindset into this embrace of law of attraction concepts. It's like the whole universe 180'd on me. And these things, I couldn't prove that they were true in any empirical way, but gosh, I felt better consistently. And things continued to get better consistently. And so, the emotional states and the output became in a sense, the evidence that I needed to take that leap of faith into embracing the idea that the law of attraction is. So that's how I got there. Let's talk for a minute about what it is and what the model is. Now the I think the law of attraction can be summed up in the idea that like attracts like I hear that phrase all the time when we're talking about the law of attraction.

It's this idea that your thoughts attract something like them. If I start thinking about positive things, positive things are going to show up in my life. If I start thinking about negative things, negative things are going to show up in my life. If I start thinking about bananas, bananas are going to show up in my life. Whatever it is that I'm thinking about, I start to draw it in. Now, that drawing in manifests in a physical way. One of the things that I think people get confused about is that I think there is this tendency to believe that the law of Attraction is sort of this weird technique that you use every once in a while. And part of the model is that it's always in play. Like whether you're paying attention to your thoughts or not, it's always on. And so, you can see what the output is mostly by how you feel. And it's very much like the story I was telling you a second ago about how I came to believe in the law of Attraction. Emotion is critically important to this whole dynamic. So, your thoughts are what drive everything. The thoughts are the starting point. The thoughts turn into stuff in the real world. Is the idea here and in the process there, your emotions start to give you a gauge as to what's going on in terms of your thoughts. So, if you're feeling negative, your thoughts are aligned in a way that's going to produce things that make you feel negative.

If you're feeling very positive, then your thoughts are aligned in a way that's going to produce stuff that you feel good about. It's kind of like I've always liked this analogy of a radio. If you turn the radio dial to a certain frequency, you can hear some stations and not other ones. Just like if you're very oriented on the positive stuff and the abundance and happiness, love, etc., those things are going to show up in your life and you can't hear the negative stuff that you don't want because you're on a different frequency. Just like you can't hear 99.9 if I'm tuned into 101.5, or whatever stations you want to pick. Just because they're at different frequencies. In a similar sense, the emotions that you're feeling are kind of like looking at the dial and seeing what the number of the station you're listening to is. So, the emotion is sort of the gauge that tells you what's going on. Are you tuned in to the place you want to be or not?

Now, what most people do is they kind of do this all in reverse. So normally what happens is most humans will react to what's going on around them instead of feeling or thinking and then using the the emotions that are products of those thoughts to gauge and control what's going on outwardly. There's a really subtle but important distinction here.

Here's what normally happens. I have something bad happen in my day. My boss yells at me. I get upset because of that thing. So there's an external event that makes me feel negative. Now, all of a sudden, if you embrace this Law of Attraction model, because I'm feeling negative about what's going on out there, I'm going to now think in ways that are conducive to those negative emotional states. And that thinking is now going to produce more negative things. And if you're not paying attention to the emotions at all, you just become kind of a roller coaster where whatever is going on outside of you drives how you're feeling. And it's going to be this random cycling of good and bad, which is what most people do. On the other hand, if you are doing like what I was doing when I was telling my story there, when I hit my low point, you may be thinking about more and more negative things with increasing intensity and increasing frequency, in which case your life is going to get worse and worse and negative things are going to show up with increasing frequency and increasing intensity. That was exactly what was happening in my life until I just hit this absolute low point. So you need to reverse this instead of reacting to what's happening in your life. You need to start with the thoughts that are going to produce the feelings that make you feel positive.

And that's why gratitude becomes such an incredibly powerful tool in the Law of Attraction arsenal. Because very often, instead of reacting, if you just say, Okay, this thing over over here happened and it would normally be upsetting to me. What can I be grateful for about the fact that it's happening? Maybe it's providing me some new opportunity. Or maybe this is testing me in a way that I haven't anticipated before. Or maybe just go shift yourself into straight up, grateful thoughts about something else going on in your life. If you can start to reorient your thoughts such that you are feeling grateful about things now, you start to think positively or think in a way that's going to make you feel positively, and now you're going to start to manifest positive things. That's why the emotions are so important, because they're telling you whether or not you're on the right track. You have to stay regulated is kind of the theme here. You have to be able to say, I'm going to consistently monitor and govern my thoughts. And what most people do, even when they're kind of embracing this Law of attraction model is they'll say, All right, I believe in the law of attraction. I'm going to think some positive thoughts. And so you sit down and maybe you get up in the morning, you do a little meditation, and then you do your mantras and you do some affirmational statements and you think, "Oh, I'm going to be wealthy and I'm going to be happy."

And then you get up and you take your shower, or you go to work. On your way to work, somebody cuts you off, you start screaming at them. You're like, "You a-hole. What did you do that for?" You get to work. Somebody starts yelling at you. You react negatively to that. Your coworker irritates you, so you get upset about that. Somebody piles work on your desk, you're upset about that. You get angry at the political thing you're listening to on the way home from work because you're listening to some radio station that's saying something inflammatory. And then you get home and you've spent pretty much your entire day thinking negatively, which pretty much counteracts the 15 minutes you spent doing affirmations and meditation in the morning. And then we wonder why things aren't happening in a manifestational way. You have to be constantly regulating. You have to be constantly paying attention to these moments where the negative is taking over. Because remember, the law of attraction is always on. It's not like this is just a technique that you're using and you can apply the basic principles to steer what's happening in your life. But it's always active. And so, if you are thinking the theory under the law of attraction is you are manifesting. Which means that you have to be constantly reigning yourself in. You have to be constantly directing yourself to positivity. You have to constantly be making yourself think the thoughts that are going to produce happiness.

That can take some work and some training. And sometimes it takes a little bit of time because part of this whole law of Attraction idea is that you need to create some manifestational momentum. Which means that sometimes you have to plant a seed and allow that seed to grow. One of the things that I think people often do with the Law of Attraction is they get very frustrated because something isn't happening right now. Remember how I described the $300 that showed up when I was initially frustrated? I wasn't seeing it. And the second I went, "Okay, I'm releasing this." It was like almost instantaneous in that particular moment. The $300 just showed up at my doorstep, like literally walked into my office and dropped it on my desk. The problem is when you start thinking about what you don't have, there's kind of an irony here, when you think about what you don't have you start to feel lack. You start to feel frustration. And when you feel that lack and frustration from a law of attraction perspective, if your thoughts are going to lack and frustration, you produce lack and frustration, which means that you're never going to have the thing that you want, which means that in turn you're going to feel more frustrated and more desperate, which is going to manifest more and more of that. So there's the irony is that in order to actually manifest the things you want, you kind of have to release the desire. You have to sort of know that they're coming without needing them to come.

You have to just take what's going on right now and revel in the joy that exists in your day to day. You have to find a way to be happy now. And simultaneously know that more good things are coming and identify what those good things are. That's the way to start a sort of steer this such that you can manifest the things that you want to. And you have to have some kind of belief. I mean, it doesn't have to be absolute belief. I mean, it doesn't have to be 100% conviction. But there has to be some part of you that believes it. And this goes to one of the things that I talk about often with the Law of Attraction is picking something that's kind of in the realm of feasibility. For example, if I'm working a job where I'm making minimum wage and then I say, "I'm going to be a billionaire." Maybe. I don't really believe that. Maybe a billionaire is just too big right now. Now, if there's some part of me that truly believes that, okay. But if I'm picking something that's just so far detached from reality in my mind that I'm never going to get there, then you need to kind of scale it back until it feels like you're stretching a bit, until it feels like this is something that maybe I could get there, maybe I could be making 100,000 a year, even though I'm just making minimum wage right now.

Maybe I could have 300 grand in the bank. Pick something you at least kind of believe, and then that helps to kind of propel you forward because belief is important. You have to buy into it on some level. If you want to stretch a bit, there's going to be some part of you that has some doubts. And then when things start to manifest, the magic shows up all anew. But there has to be some element of you believing what's going on.

Another important element to this whole thing, and this is something that I think a lot of people make an error with, is they sort of think that this is just this weird sorcery that you're going to do and things are going to magically show up. And in a way, it sort of is. But the missing element for me is that when you're talking the law of attraction it's about becoming the magnet. It's about, in essence, becoming the kind of person to whom the life and the things that you want are drawn. An example that I like to give of this is let's imagine that there's this guy who's 45 years old, living in his parents' basement, doesn't have a job, doesn't ever shower. Lives on Cheetos and vodka or beer or whatever his parents can afford and spends his whole day playing video games and getting high.

Then this guy tries to use the Law of Attraction and says, "You know what? I want the most amazing supermodel wife who cooks for me and works this high paying job and does nothing but dote on me." It may be nice that he wants that. But if he really wants to capture that, he needs to become the kind of person to whom that girl that he's describing is attracted. He needs to become the magnet. He's not going to just sit there and say some mantras and then turn around and this girl that he's been describing, who's like a supermodel with a high paying job and cooks and wants to dote on him and whatever other weird stereotypes you want to throw out there is just going to show up in his bed. It doesn't work like that. He has to change himself. And I think this is where a lot of people fall down in applying the Law of Attraction principles is you need to change you. You need to become the person to whom that stuff you want is going to come flying. Like you become the magnet. Make it come to you. And that means change. If you want to have a whole lot of money, learn to become the CEO or the investor or whatever it is, whatever kind of person you believe is going to draw that money in and start moving yourself towards that, which takes you a little bit into the action thing.

I'm going to spare the action part of this for another conversation, but, you have to become the magnet. That's kind of the theme here. The last thing that I would offer about the law of Attraction in terms of applying it is just this idea of thinking in the past tense. You remember I said before that I created these journal prompts, and one of the things that I would would think about often is the things that I wanted, but I would describe them as though I already had them. And this goes to this this concept around belief. This idea that you getting what you want is a certainty. So, it becomes no doubt, or at least you try to work at eliminating those doubts and you just kind of buy into their existence. This stuff, there's a lot more I can say about it. I'm going to have to save it for another show because I see that the clock is running. But this stuff is, for me, absolutely life changing. And it became a part of the Emotional Embuffination umbrella, in part because Emotional Embuffination is all about dealing with conflict and finding happiness, optimizing those positive emotional states and the law of Attraction perfectly lines up with that because remember, what we're trying to do is find the thought processes that are facilitating positive emotions because those are the things that manifest the positive stuff, the things that we want in life.

So, it's lined up in that sense with Emotional Embuffination perfectly. Another major thing about Emotional Embuffination in the Law of Attraction paradigm is that the Law of Attraction is very much centered on this idea that pretty much everything that's going on to you and this one's a hard this one's a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow, so hear me out, at least. The idea that everything that's going on to you is on you. Like you're manifesting the world around you. You are manifesting the things that are happening to you for good or for bad. And that's a tough one because there's a lot of dark things that happen out there. There's a lot of bad stuff that happens to people oftentimes without any seeming reason or cause. There are some real tragedies out there. And one of the common themes that I have in Emotional Embuffination is all about learning to embrace absolute responsibility. I have a chapter on this in the Emotional Embuffination book, this idea that you get into the mental framework of no matter what is going on, no matter how validly you can point the finger at someone else, you own the responsibility for the existence of that thing in your life because it puts you into a mindset where you start to say, "How do I fix this? How do I make sure this doesn't happen again? How do I make sure I can overcome this." Instead of just, it's his fault. It's her fault. It's their fault.

Which doesn't do anything to propel you out of the situation. It just facilitates anger. Well, the law of attraction does the same thing. You say if something bad is going on, I wasn't thinking right. My actions weren't aligned with my thoughts. So I need to change something and the whole framework starts to become around this is on me instead of like I need to go point the finger at someone and crucify them, which is going to make me feel like garbage and probably inflame the negative situations. I saw that all the time in family law. Everybody just wants to point fingers and yell and hurt the other side and everything gets worse and more toxic and people lose their minds. Chase the positive emotions. Like that is one of the big themes. Chase the responsibility. That's another one of the big themes here for both of Emotional Embuffination and the Law of Attraction. It's hard to embrace this idea of absolute responsibility. I get that in terms of everything happening to you. The consequence of not doing that, however, is that you always find justifications, you always find excuses, reasons, things that will justify the idea of not taking accountability for something. And the second you leave yourself an out to blame someone else for whatever is going on, and sometimes your accountability can be as simple as creating boundaries around someone that is doing something to you. Or interfacing with that person differently, or not inflaming them in a way that's going to impact you.

But if you own that, you are the source of these things. It changes your framework of how you're interfacing in an almost magic way. And you can't allow yourself an out to abrogate that responsibility. One of my favorite quotes of myself, and this is probably one of the most pretentious things I will ever say, is I have a saying that I feel I've coined that spins off of this idea that you can't control everything around you. You can only control your thinking. Well, I've changed this into you can only control what you can't control by changing how you react to what you can't control. In other words, I have the power within me, the authority to alter my outward circumstances by simply altering what I am thinking. And this to me, taps into both mindset and law of attraction stuff here. You have an amazing amount of power in you. The way that this world works, I am firmly convinced now, for whatever reason is that you have an immense amount of authority and power on this planet to create a life that is going to make both you and everyone around you feel wonderful. If you choose to exercise that power, the Law of Attraction is an amazing way to get you there. All right. I'm going to cut it off there.

That's kind of the Law of Attraction basics. This is very fundamental 20,000 foot view of the law of attraction. But I would encourage you to try it out. Give it a little bit of faith. And if you're not ready for embracing that, that's fine, too. At a bare minimum, I think that using this mindset can help you to embrace a little bit of personal responsibility and if nothing else, facilitates some positive emotions. All right. With that, I'm going to call it. That brings us to the end of the show today. I hope that you found something in here useful. I hope you can take away something, some little nugget that's going to make your life better. Remember, as always, you've got to keep becoming more emotionally embuffed. You've got to keep working on it. You don't go to the gym once, do a couple of reps of something and say, I'm buff for the rest of time. You keep going. You go every day or a couple of times a week or something. Like you have a routine. You just have to keep doing it. If you stop doing it, you lose it. You got to keep going. Same thing is true with the Emotional Embuffination stuff. When you want to become emotionally embuffed you keep working on it every day. At the end of the day, I want you to be emotionally strong enough to go from saying "The struggle is real," to always saying, "What struggle?" Thank you all for listening. I hope you've enjoyed this. Have a great week and we'll see you on the next show.