Parenting Embuffination

Success the Cat

Meet a creation of my daughter: Success the Cat.

My daughter, Lily, and I started getting up early on weekends and hiking together at different mountains. The first time we went, she had a very difficult time. There was tons of complaining, until we got to the top. Then she liked it a lot and wanted to go again. When we hiked another mountain, she was eager to go, but complained a ton once again. But she loved making it to the top. This process repeated numerous times. Eventually, it got to where she wasn't complaining and seemed to enjoy the hike itself.

About the time she stopped complaining during hikes, she created the cat you see in this image. His name is Success. He wears a hydration backpack with a hose that runs to his mouth for water. He hikes up to the top of mountains and does so without complaining. His name is Success because he always successfully makes it to the top without any problems. My daughter started writing stories about him. Bear in mind that she struggled with writing in school and spent time being very upset about having to write homework assignments. (If you want to read more about Success the Cat, click here.)

This story is important to me for a few reasons. First, it shows that even if you feel like you can't handle something well, continuing to do it and altering your mindset can dramatically change the experience. When my daughter changed the way she viewed the hiking experience, it went from a difficult journey to a fun time. When she found something she enjoyed, suddenly writing became an easy task she looked forward to. Altering your mental and emotional approach works just as well with children as it does with adults.

Second, it's important to me because of where I was in the past. There was a time in my life in which I did not get along well with my kids. I was a terrible parent. I didn't want to be a parent. I resented my children and didn't know how to interact with them. By changing the mindset I used to interact with them everything changed. I focused on developing my own emotional strength and now I enjoy being with them. Indeed, as Success the Cat demonstrates, I believe I can have a positive impact on them as well. I feel like my interactions with my daughter helped encourage a different way for her to see the world and challenges she faced.

Emotional Embuffination is about developing the same skills that brought me a positive relationship with my kids in anyone that studies it. Emotional Embuffination applies to parenting every bit as much to financial success or resolution of conflict in a breakup. Being a parent is fraught with frustrating times. Sometimes you don't understand why your kids won't listen to you. And sometimes you can't understand why they're upset. Emotional Embuffination offers keys to understanding how to motivate, talk to, and get through to your kids. If you want to improve the relationship with your children, you need to eliminate conflict between you and them. Doing so is very possible and the principles of Embuffination can help you do it.

What follows in this site is resources and tips related to parenting as it relates to Emotional Embuffination.

Understanding What's Wrong With Your Kid

If you're in a situation where your kid seems to be struggling, it can be really useful to run through the same checklist we can use as adults. The What's Right With Me Checklist, available on the Home Page, can be used to run a diagnostic to help you understand your child's problems. This will ultimately not only make your kid feel better, but will make you feel better as well as it will give you some direction on solving your child's problems.

Plan Snacks and Nutrition Ahead of Time

If your kids are not eating well, it's going to make them feel badly and they probably won't even know it. When they feel poorly, they're going to be cranky, whiny, and cause problems. When they do that, you're going to react very negatively to them and probably make the problem even worse.

One easy way to fix this is to pay careful attention to what kinds of food you're keeping in the house. If you fill your pantry with sugary snacks it's what they'll eat. If they're eating garbage they're going to feel like garbage. Plan ahead. When you go to the store pick out healthy snacks.